(Sound guy puts on intro music)
Hello and welcome to the blog. This post I will share with you some of the things I am planning on knitting and my first ever knitted shrug.
I have been working on a shrug now for almost three weeks. There was some math that had me holding my breath. I am not a math fan, and there is a lot of math involved with knitting. When it is working well for me–it means I did something right.
The fact that I am almost done with the shrug makes me feel great. I mean, I will get to wear it out and it would make a great Christmas shrug. (awe)
(Sound guy: This may be disturbing to some viewers. Anyone under the age of 13 should not read this part. You have been warned. It disturbs me, the sound guy. I don’t even have a name.)
So, I found, um, something interesting. Heck I cannot even say it without cracking up. It is really immature of me to even crack up. Knitting menstrual pads and tampons. I am thinking about actually making them.
The idea of using them tends to gross me out. I mean they are going to get bloody and then you reuse them. Of course you wash them, but still, it was all bloody.
(Sound Guy *blushes and runs out of the room*)
Okay, the Sound guy is even gross out by this post. Okay, continuing on. Supposedly you have to use cotton or plant based fibers. Something about it makes TSS harder to get. Even though you don’t want to get TSS. Gross, sicking!
(*Sound guy comes back into the room with a bag full of something*)
Me: What do you got in those brown bags?
Sound Guy: Menstrual napkins and tampons. Since you cannot afford them.
Me: But I can.
Sound Guy: Then why are you making them.
Me: (audible sigh) I am thinking about making them. The idea grosses me out, yet intrigues me.
Sound Guy: It is disgusting! (Pulls out pads) This one is super pulse and there is one that you wear at night. Oh, and tampons that last 12 hours. I am not sure what your flow is–so I brought all them. This guy said that you can get something called, TSS, if you are not careful.
Me: I know about TSS. I am a woman after all.
Sound Guy: (walks closer to me) The clerk guy claims you can get sick.
Me: (rolls eyes) I know about TSS and I know what to do if I get it. Don’t worry I will be fine.
Sound Guy: Why don’t you use these (gestures to the bags full of female products)
Me: Fine. I will use them. Happy?
Sound Guy: Yes. Shouldn’t we be talking about knitting? This is about you knitting! Is it not?
(This won’t disturb anyone. Baby knitting!)
I’m looking for more baby patterns. The person will find out what the baby is in January. So I am going to knit a gender related object. It is going to be fun.
The end is near
(Sound Guy puts on ending music)
So sound guy needs a name! He is made up and I cannot seem to find a name. Here is what I am thinking. (Sound Guy: Stop thinking it gets you into trouble.) Can someone out there come up with a name for poor Sound Guy? I am not sure what I’m going to do when he is named.
(Sound Guy *Growls, Beep*)
Goodbye everyone. Thanks for reading. Sorry if I grossed anyone out, if it makes you feel better–I grossed myself too. Okay have great day. Evening? Bye